Dupalicious!

The Whiggy Tease Dupalicious line of Spring fashions are available by clicking at this link. Enjoy.

Casimir
Can you handle this

Ewa

Can you handle this

Jula
Can you handle this

I don't think they can handle this whoooo

Better move
Cause we've arrived

Lookin' sexy
Lookin' fly
Baddest chick
Chick inside
Dj
Polka tonight

Spotted me
A tender thang
There you are
Come on baby
Don't you wanna
Polka with me
Can you handle
Handle me

You gotta do much better
If you're gonna polka with me tonight
You gotta work your pierogi
If you're gonna dance with me tonight
Read my lips carefully, if you like what you see
Move, groove, prove you can hang with me
By the looks I got you shook up and scared of me
Buckle your seatbelt, it's time for takeoff

I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this
'cause my body's too dupalicious for ya babe

I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this
'cause my body's too dupalicious for ya

Baby can you handle this
Baby can you handle this
Baby can you handle this
I don't think you can handle this

I'm about to break you off
H-town goin hard
Read my hips
Slap my thighs
Swing my hair

Squint my eyes
Lookin' hot
Smellin' good
Groovin' like
I'm from Warsaw
Over my shoulder
I blow you a kiss

Can you handle
Handle this I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this
'cause my body's too dupalicious for ya babe

I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this
'cause my body's too dupalicious for ya babe

Move your body up and down (whoo)
Make your dupa touch the ground (whoo)
I can't help but wonder why
My vibe's too poletastic for you babe

I shake my pierogi at every chance
When I whip with my hips you slip into a trance
I'm hoping you can handle all this jelly that I have
Now let's cut a rug while we dance some polka

I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this
'cause my body's too dupalicious for ya babe

Available soon as a ringtone.

Sorry, Flo. It will always be The Jake to us.

It’s not like we want to upset Flo from Progressive Insurance. On the contrary. We here at Whiggy Tease find ourselves strangely attracted to her. Very strangely attracted.

However, the baseball stadium that sits below the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters in Cleveland will never be known as “Progressive Field” to us. It’s still Jacobs Field, or as we locals call it, “The Jake.”

So we’ve got a t-shirt for that.

What we’re lacking in a fancy design, or originality for that matter, we make up for in volume. There are tons of items with this design, and an even simpler alternative design, on sale now in our section just for Cleveland sports fans. Click here to visit.

But it ain’t just about our local ballpark. It’s about all ballparks. Look, we love capitalism as much as anyone, but the purchases of stadium naming rights by large corporations just make us want to vomit in our collective mouths. You know?

So in our Misc. Nonsense section, we have shirts for our beloved customers/baseball fans across the country. Chicago is our kind of town…

We like Toronto as well. It's actually very important to our 2010 Marketing Plan that Whiggy gets into the Canadian market.

As for New York, we reckon a new stadium should keep the old stadium’s name.

We have a series we’ll do for football stadiums, but we’ll start selling those in August.

Baseball season starts Monday. Yes, we aren’t counting the Sunday night game between the Yankees and the Red Sox, just to punish ESPN for shoving that matchup down our throat for the first of 64 times this season.

Start shopping. Play ball.

This is a Big Deal, indeed.

If you tuned in to see President Obama sign the health care bill, this is what you saw...


Perhaps your reaction was “Wow, that’s funny.” Or you may have thought, “Oh dear, that’s unfortunate.” Maybe your mood turned angry . “After all that hard work,” you may have thought, and Biden goes and ruins the moment.”

At Whiggy Tease, we thought, “Now, how can we make money off of this?”

Uh, we mean, “Our customers would be interested in this, how can we best serve them with a quality and timely product?”

Our first product is perhaps the most obvious.

Next, we have more of a general shirt that should have a longer shelf life.

Thinking ahead, but not too far ahead, is this item…

… this is also available as a golf shirt.

Finally, we have this offering.

All of these shirts are available at our front page, which you can get to by clicking here. You can also find variations on this theme in The O Store at this here link.

You’re welcome, America.

It's the Whiggy Tease Beach Party!

St. Patrick’s Day is over. The college basketball tournament has begun. This can only mean Spring Break is right around the corner!

Are you ready?

Do you have everything you need? Let us answer that question for you. “No, you are not ready.”

You need to shop at the Whiggy Tease Beach Party, because you need a beach bag.

We have plenty to choose from. We have bags for conservatives…

… and we have bags for liberals...

In fact, we have bags for everyone.

Shop around , as there’s more waiting for you at the Whiggy Tease Beach Party.

Barack Obama is coming to town, and you have nothing to wear.

President Barack Obama is coming to Cleveland next week to give some speech on health care and, we are optimistic, tour the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters building.

Perhaps you’re going to the speech. You have nothing to wear. We can fix that.

Or perhaps you don’t live near Cleveland, but you need some Obama swag. Whiggy Tease can fix that too. We have the Obama font, you know, and we’ve been hard at work.

The focus group seemed to like this shirt…

… and the bumper sticker to match…
… and the variation on that bumper sticker.
Others told us that George Bush was yesterday’s target. Today’s target? Tea baggers. So, we can take care of that for you with this shirt…
… or that shirt, which is much more artistically interesting.
Oh, we at Whiggy Tease know we have conservative customers as well. Have you seen our new Reagan gym bag?
We have shirts for Obama fans who want to take a subtle, yet retro dig, at Sarah Palin…
We also have shirts for people who don’t do subtle… Or people who are more aggressive...

But wait, there’s more.

Whiggy Tease also has shirts for people who want to make a, well, different kind of statement...

Finally, there’s this lovely retro shirt.
All of this is available in THE O STORE, along with last year’s line of coffee mugs, mouse pads, beer steins and the like.

So, stimulate the economy. Buy now. Click right here. Everything is on sale until Easter.

Whiggy Tease has the Obama Font, and we aren't afraid to use it!

Whiggy Tease has secured the official Obama font. We are not afraid to use it. In fact, we’ve already created some official looking Obama swag with it, and we’re ready to sell it to you. Warm up your credit card.

First, you need a bumper sticker…


It’s not only clever, it’s really clever. It’s a throwback to the 1964 Goldwater vs. LBJ race, and you know how excited we are about such things here at Whiggy Tease. Do you have 9 friends? Then, buy a 10 pack. Do you have 99 friends? If so, maybe you want to buy a pack of 100.

A similar design is also available on a line of shirts…

We also have an Obama response to Sarah Palin's taunt about how that "hopey-changey thing" is working out...

All of this, and plenty more, is available in The O Store. So, why don’t you start stimulating the economy and start shopping? Click here to begin your journey.

Now that Whiggy Tease has the Obama font, can we now make a ton more of official looking, yet slightly more aggressive, Obama swag for you?

Yes we can.

This Valentine's Day, get your lover a nice card.

Remember last Valentine’s Day? The card you bought your lover was probably an after-thought.

You were in Target getting kitty litter and you remembered you needed to get a card. Any card. So you wandered over to the card section, remembered that your lover liked politics and history, so you grabbed some card with Barack Obama or George W. Bush on it. And it was okay.

But is “okay” really good enough for your lover? Of course it isn’t. This Valentine’s Day, get your lover a nice card. From Whiggy Tease.

Oh, sure, we have nice cards with Barack Obama, if that’s what you want. We have cards with him and Michelle that read on the inside “You’ll always be my First Lady.” Now, that’s a nice card. Very romantic.

Perhaps you can get a card like that at Target. But can you get a “You’ll always be my First Lady” card at Target featuring the Reagans? How about the Washingtons? Lincolns? Eisenhowers?
How about Grover and Frances Cleveland? Warren and Florence Harding? James K. and Sarah Polk? The Nixons?
Well, you can get cards like that, not at Target but at “My Whiggy Valentine.”

It stuns us how romantic this card is.

But wait, there’s more.

We have cards with different insides, featuring this PDA couple…

… and this lady… … and this guy… But wait, there’s even more. What if you need a card for your mistress?

Whiggy Tease can take care of that too. We also have other cards for other Valentine’s desires, but we’re not going to go into that just now.

So, when you’re in Target, concentrate on the needs of your cat. But when you’re thinking about ways to please your politically-minded lover on Valentine’s Day, come to Whiggy Tease.

So, which card are you going to get your lover?

You need a calendar. We can take care of your needs, and then some.

It’s 2010. America is ready for its Presidential Swimsuit Calendar… from Whiggy Tease, of course.

Whether you call it “twenty-ten” or “two-thousand ten,” we all agree on the fact you need a calendar. You need a calendar of U.S. Presidents frolicking in the surf and by the swimming pool. It’s Commanders-in-Chief. It’s beefcake. That’s right, it’s…

… the Whiggy Tease 2010 Hail to the Beef calendar.

Who’s our target audience on this one? Hell, who ISN’T our target audience? Historians. Politicians. People who love a good beefcake calendar. People who think a beefcake calendar is ridiculous. Those who think our Presidents are awesome, and those who think they become more human with shirts off. Democrats and Republicans will go insane for this item.

We’re not kidding. The Hail to the Beef calendar was off the charts in the focus groups. The words “tingly feeling” were used. Sure, the words “sick, sick, sick” were also used, but we think in a “wicked awesome” kind of way.

President Gerald Ford is Mr. April.

But it’s not about us and our extensive focus grouping. Oh no, it’s about you the beloved Whiggy Tease customer. This calendar is a sure fire conversation starter amongst your friends, relatives and co-workers. It will get you the attention you deserve, plus it will help you keep track of what day of the week St. Patrick’s Day will fall on in 2010.

Also, rest assured that this is a quality product. Look, it's not crap, okay? First, it’s 17 X 11, so it’s a nice big quality calendar. Check that, each picture is 17 X 11 – full bleed. When fully extended, the calendar is 17 X 22. So make some space on your wall for the beef.

President Bill Clinton is Mr. September.

It’s 100 lb cover weight high gloss paper, and it’s all wire-o bound together. In addition, the calendar has oversized date boxes providing plenty of room to write in important events.
What are you waiting for? Get shopping. Click RIGHT HERE to order your calendar.

May God bless you, and may God bless these United States of America. And her beefy Presidents.

Fight back in the War on Baby's First Christmas!

There is a war going on in America. It’s a War on Christmas. To be more specific, it’s a War on Baby’s First Christmas.

The War isn’t against every baby, however.

If your baby is 0-3 months, he’s fine. 3-6 months is okay too, as is 6-9 months.

You see, you can find “Baby’s First Christmas” clothes for a baby this size.

But what if your baby is getting all geared up for Christmas, and he or she was born in late December, January, February or March? Try to get this kid a shirt that says “Baby’s First Christmas.” You’d be out of luck, and so would your kid, as the big stores – Corporate America, if you will – sell no such thing.

Worse yet, what if back in January, you gave birth and your baby is a bit of a Bubba? Perhaps he’ll be wearing 18 month clothing by Christmas.

Trust us, there is nothing… NOTHING for this kid to wear.

That is, until Whiggy Tease decided to declare war on the War on Baby’s First Christmas.

The Concerned Big Sisters and Cousins of America got together and designed a special line of Baby’s First Christmas clothing. It’s big enough for your 9-12 month baby, even if he’s a Bubba.

Please note we did not give the children Diet Coke, an adult left the drink on the table to take this photo. Really.
The line is also available in little baby sizes as well. You see, unilke Corporate America, we love ALL babies here at Whiggy Tease.
Start shopping. It’s all available in our Christmas department, along with the Presidential Christmas ornaments.

The Whiggy Tease Junior Players present our second YouTube commercial.

Children love Christmas, and they love James K. Polk – our eleventh President. The Whiggy Tease Junior Players know this as well, and that’s why they filmed this commercial for the You Tube.




There are three different versions of this spot, including one that breaks out into a dance party.
Find them all on the You Tube, or perhaps we’ll get around to posting all three.

The Polk ornament, plus ornaments for the rest of the Presidents plus some other folks of historical importance, is available at this link.

Happy Shopping, and Merry Christmas.

What about Thomas Jefferson?

With much fanfare, Whiggy Tease the other night announced that you can buy a Christmas ornament featuring every single president of the United States from the Democratic Party. We also did the same for the GOP. We’ll play both sides. You’re money is good here.

The backlash, while polite, was immediate. Scott the Poet, Rocker and Gonzo Journalist from Chicago wanted to know why Thomas Jefferson was left off our list of Democrats.

Well, technically, Jefferson was a member of an outfit called the Democratic-Republican party. Sure, modern day Democrats claim him as one of their own. Get enough drinks in a Democrat and they’ll claim Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln too.

However, the point is moot. Why? Because, here at Whiggy Tease, we have Christmas ornaments featuring every single U.S. President, from George Washington to Barack Obama.
So, should we have Jefferson as a Democrat or not? Doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you buy one today. Click here to start shopping.

No, we do not have two different ornaments for James A. Garfield. Please stop asking.

Raise your glass to Winston Churchill. Then, put it down on a coaster.

Oh, how Whiggy Tease Nation loved the General Ulysses S. Grant coasters. They will indeed make great stocking stuffers.

However, the coasters did generate a few helpful comments. Basically, “Yeah, Grant liked to drink and fight. You know who else did? Winston Churchill.”

Indeed, chaps. Sir Winston Churchill did like his drink. He is worthy of a coaster set. So here you go.

First, we’ll start with his 1951 campaign logo…

Then, we’ll throw in a V for Victory…

An official looking portrait…

And this relaxed picture…


Stop putting your drinks on your nice coffee table. It’s going to leave a stain. There’s nothing classy about putting your high ball on your copy of Entertainment Weekly or The Economist. Buy your Churchill coasters today.