Flu shots, Socialist mind control and microchips.

We here at Whiggy Tease care about our employees. Whenever we can, we like to do something special for them. It helps to keep them from stealing.

So that’s why this morning, at great expense we might add, we arranged for every one of our employees in the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters to receive not only the regular flu shot, but the swing flu vaccine as well.

Everyone, we should say, except our Accountant.

“You boys aren’t going to poke me with those needles or stick anything up my nose,” pouted the Accountant, between puffs on her clove cigarettes. “I watch Glenn Beck.”

And?

“I can’t trust the government under Chairman Obama,” she said. “Save the quote-unquote medicine for the rest of your comrades. It’ll probably make them sick. Or, you know what I think?

“I think the ‘flu shot’ is some kind of socialist mind control drug.”

We keep the Accountant around because she’s good with the numbers. We for the most part don’t enjoy talking to her.

Oh, and she isn’t going to take the H1NI vaccine either.

“Are you nuts?” she asked. “That’s how the government installs the microchip.”

As part of her contract, all of the Accountant’s ideas become Whiggy Tease products. You enjoyed the I Hate Woodrow Wilson line, didn't you? Also, the Accountant gets to use the company basketball tickets six times a season.

Check out the Whiggy Tease Flu Season Swag in the “Ripped from the Headlines” department of the “Modern Politics” store.

"Send a case to the rest of my generals. And throw in some coasters."

While folks like General George McClelllan hid in tents and had delusional fears about just how strong the rebel army was, others like Ulysses S. Grant went out and fought. President Abraham Lincoln liked that. He liked it so much that when others reported Grant was drinking again, Lincoln said something like “Find out what he’s drinking and send a case to the rest of my generals.”

You can relive this little moment in Civil War history with Whiggy Tease’s General Ulysses S. Grant Commemorative Coaster set. We have not one, not two, but three different coasters, and we’re willing to make more if you, our beloved customers, demand it.

These coasters are the perfect addition to the bar basement of any Civil War buff you know. They’d make a great Christmas gift for a history teacher, a history professor, or perhaps the history major on your list. Or maybe even for someone who just likes to watch the History Channel all day.

Lincoln may have thrown in some coasters for his generals. You never know.

"All the way with LBJ"

Our focus groups told us they wanted more Lyndon Johnson swag. Sometimes we suspect our focus groups are just pulling our legs. But if they tell us they want something, we make it, and usually it sells big not only here in America, but in obscure little countries in Europe as well.

So we did some research on old LBJ campaigns, and the old political swag we enjoyed the most included the slogan “All the way with LBJ.” You can buy this replica 1964 2.25 inch campaign button…

… by clicking here.

It’s also available in a larger size at this link.

Know what we like about this button? We like that the design is versatile. By simply changing the red and blue colors to wine and gold…

… you get a completely new meaning which makes sense if you are a basketball fan in Cleveland, Ohio. Which we are. (This is okay, but we aren't crazy about it - Whiggy Tease Legal Department)

You can buy this button right now by clicking here. To super-size it, click here.

All of these buttons, needless to say, would make excellent stocking stuffers at Christmas time.