Flu shots, Socialist mind control and microchips.

We here at Whiggy Tease care about our employees. Whenever we can, we like to do something special for them. It helps to keep them from stealing.

So that’s why this morning, at great expense we might add, we arranged for every one of our employees in the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters to receive not only the regular flu shot, but the swing flu vaccine as well.

Everyone, we should say, except our Accountant.

“You boys aren’t going to poke me with those needles or stick anything up my nose,” pouted the Accountant, between puffs on her clove cigarettes. “I watch Glenn Beck.”

And?

“I can’t trust the government under Chairman Obama,” she said. “Save the quote-unquote medicine for the rest of your comrades. It’ll probably make them sick. Or, you know what I think?

“I think the ‘flu shot’ is some kind of socialist mind control drug.”

We keep the Accountant around because she’s good with the numbers. We for the most part don’t enjoy talking to her.

Oh, and she isn’t going to take the H1NI vaccine either.

“Are you nuts?” she asked. “That’s how the government installs the microchip.”

As part of her contract, all of the Accountant’s ideas become Whiggy Tease products. You enjoyed the I Hate Woodrow Wilson line, didn't you? Also, the Accountant gets to use the company basketball tickets six times a season.

Check out the Whiggy Tease Flu Season Swag in the “Ripped from the Headlines” department of the “Modern Politics” store.

Whiggy Tease has your Halloween costume

Once vacant stores in strip malls across America are currently filled, temporarily, with Halloween costume stores. Whiggy Tease, your favorite on-line shopping venue and the place where you will do most of your Christmas shopping, had a little vacant space as well. Our space is also now filled with a temporary Halloween store.

But unlike that store in your local strip mall, you won’t find a “Sexy Pirate” costume here. You will unable to buy a “Sexy French Maid” costume, a “Sexy Referee” costume or a “Sexy Bottle of Ketchup” costume.

Because here at Whiggy Tease, we deal with the historical and the timely. Oh, and we mostly only have the capacity to make t-shirts. So that’s what our Halloween store is all about.

Let us take you behind the curtain of our Whiggy Tease focus group on Halloween. It went something like this…

WHIGGY TEASE: So, what are you going to be for Halloween?

FOCUS GROUP PARTICIPANT: I think I’m going to be one of those silly tea baggers.

WHIGGY TEASE: Thank you for your time.

So our first Halloween costumes for 2009 will be Tea Party protester shirts. The first two shirts are based on actual signs from actual tea parties.

Here’s the sign…

… and here’s your shirt.

Wasn't that a hoot? Want more? How about this sign…

… and this shirt?
We can go on and on like this, but let’s see how these two sell first.

We’re also repackaging a shirt from Eric in Toledo, just in time for Halloween…

As far as we’re concerned, the shirt is subtle, it’s funny and it is certain to start a conversation at any party you happen to go to this year.

These shirts are available in our front window at www.cafepress.com/whiggy_tease. More shirts coming soon.

Woodrow Wilson: History's Worst Monster?

Once a week, all work comes to a halt at the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters when our local alternative paper hits the streets. If your alternative paper is anything like our alternative paper, and we suspect it is, it includes the popular alternative comic strip “This Modern World” by Tom Tomorrow.

Here is a link to Mr. Tomorrow’s latest effort.

The last panel reminded us of something we had blocked out.

Glenn Beck hates Woodrow Wilson as no other semi-rational American does. Beck probably does consider Wilson to be one of History’s Greatest Monsters, if he doesn’t consider him to actually be History’s Greatest Monster.

Which leads us to our latest Whiggy Tease item. Are you in the Target Audience for our latest product? Perhaps you let Glenn Beck do your thinking for you, and you do actually believe that Woodrow Wilson is History’s Greatest Monster. If so, you're in the Tartet Audience.

Or, perhaps you think Glenn Beck is nuts, and thus, the notion that Wilson is HGM is nuts to you – but you like to wear nutty and ironic t-shirts. If so, you too are in the Target Audience.

So, now that we’ve cast a net around 99% of all Americans…

… it’s our Woodrow Wilson: History’s Greatest Monster shirt.

It’s perfect for you, it’s perfect for your brother-in-law who loves Glenn Beck, it’s perfect for, frankly, just about everyone.

But wait, there’s more. We also have keepsake boxes, ceramic coasters, framed tiles, water bottles, hoodies for kids and much, much more.

It’s all available in the Woodrow Wilson store. Start shopping.

Obama to give speech to American students. This is a.) good, b.) or bad, and c.) needs swag.

On Tuesday, the President of the United States is scheduled to give a short speech to students in American schools.

What is the speech all about?

In the address, President Barack Obama will welcome students back to school and encourage them to study hard because education is important.

You would believe that, if you were a godless Socialist intent on ruining America.

You see, Obama’s speech will evidently be about the indoctrination of your children. Students will be taught the evil of coal burning industrial plants, the SUV you drove them to school in, and the traditional values you tried so hard to instill in them.

Oh, you would believe that, if you were one of those right-wing tea bagging nut jobs who lets Glenn Beck do your thinking for you. You candidate lost last year, so, just suck it up.

What does Whiggy Tease believe? We’ll tell you what Whiggy Tease believes. Whiggy Tease believes it’s time for you to get your credit cards out, because we’ve got some merchandise for you.

First, for you folks who believe that not only is the President’s speech a wonderful idea, but your kids need a special shirt just for it, we proudly present the following…

Ahh. That’s cute isn’t it?

Now, if believe this speech is just another step in Obama’s Sinister Plan, well, we’ve got a shirt for you as well…

(If you have trouble reading the small print, it says "'You must learn to obey... You don't want Grandma to talk to the Death Panel, do you?'")

Order right now, and you might get your swag by Tuesday. Click here to start your shopping experience.