The assignment for the Whiggy Tease interns was simple. Using the Google, sniff around to see what kinds of other political and historical swag our competitors were making. Bring us examples, and we’ll copy them, er, we will make them even better.
So our interns reported the following: “There’s a lot of ‘WORST PRESIDENT EVER’ stuff out there. It’s mostly with George W. Bush, but of course, the tea baggers are making stuff with Obama on it.”
It seems that “WORST PRESIDENT EVER” is the “MEAN PEOPLE SUCK” of 2010. So, we decided to make a George W. Bush WORST PRESIDENT EVER shirt, and here it is…
It’s a lovely product. But here’s the problem… is it stale? Is it too old to be fresh, and is it not old enough to be retro? Also, and here’s the more important question… is it true? Is George W. Bush the WORST PRESIDENT EVER?
So, we sent the interns back to the Google machine, and they reported that according to some historians that C-SPAN found, George W. Bush is not the WORST PRESIDENT EVER.
Using a complicated formula which weighs Public Persuasion, Crisis Leadership, Economic Management, Moral Authority, International Relations, Administrative Skills, Relations with Congress, Vision/Setting an Agenda, Pursued Equal Justice For All and Performance Within Context of Times, 64 historians determined the five worst presidents to be James Buchanan, Andrew Johnson, Franklin Pierce, William Henry Harrison and, of course…
… Warren G. Harding. Warren G. Harding, the shame of the Buckeye State.
We have created shirts for all of these WORST PRESIDENTS EVER and made them available in our brand new “Hall of Presidents” section in the Historical Stuff store.
But then, we reflected on the “Mean People Suck” bumper sticker of the early 90’s. Are we being mean? And if we are being mean, as such, do we in fact suck?
So we sent the interns back to the Google to find another Presidential survey. By now, they were at Happy Hours. They sent us back one of those text messages with a link to something called Nerve with a ranking of The Top 43 Sexiest Presidents.
So, for the ladies, we offer shirts featuring Nerve’s Top 5. Franklin Pierce, he of the WORST PRESIDENT EVER ranking, returns at #5.
Next is Thomas Jefferson, followed by…
... Barack Obama. Of Obama, Nerve said “Smart, funny, and have you seen him with his shirt off? Barack Obama is a damn sexy man, with a damn sexy wife.”
JFK was #2. And coming in at #1 was…
Yes, Teddy Roosevelt. We’ll let Nerve explain…
“At first glance, Roosevelt may be a strange choice for number one, but the guy had everything. He wasn't the best-looking president, but he was damn handsome. He was in ridiculously good shape and a rugged outdoorsman. He cared passionately about the environment, bravely lead the way into battle, and fought against corruption in every office he held.
"Theodore Roosevelt was so sexy that if he slept with your girlfriend, you'd be flattered. He's part Chuck Norris (meme Chuck Norris, not actual Chuck Norris), part Evel Knievel, part John Wayne, and part Daniel Craig. He was the most popular man in America for a reason, and our sexiest president ever.”
So, there you go America. Now, start shopping.
