Conservatives vs. Liberals at Christmas.

The Accountant dropped by this morning unexpectedly, and unwelcomingly if we must be honest. “Have you boys looked at the Christmas ornament sales?” she hissed.

Of course we have. The sales are great.

“Look at the cross-tabs,” she said.”

And there was the discrepancy. Of all the Presidential Christmas ornaments we’ve sold, over 76% of the sales have been of Republican/conservative Presidents (and Prime Ministers), while less than 24% have been of liberals.

Do conservatives really love Christmas that much more than liberals?

Or, are conservatives just early Christmas shoppers? Because they have more money?

Regardless of your political affiliation, or the political affiliation of those on your shopping list, it’s time to start shopping. Click here to buy some ornaments, or here to browse around the entire store.

The first Whiggy Tease 48 Hour Christmas Sale Extravaganza for Non-Morons.

See these people? They’re lined up in the middle of the night outside some Wal-Mart for a lame Christmas sale. They’re cold, they’re exchanging germs, and some of them are probably going to get hurt. And for what? A cheap DVR player?

These people are morons.

You, however, are not a moron. That’s why you’re going to monitor this site daily for announcements of the latest Whiggy Tease 48 Hour Christmas Sale Extravaganza for Non-Morons.

We’ll have a bunch of these sales between now and Christmas. You can shop from home. No crowds, no cold, no germs, and nobody gets hurt. You don’t even have to get dressed.

Let us assure you, Whiggy Tease Nation, that we aren’t putting our crappy merchandise on sale. No sir. Our 48 Hour Christmas Sale Extravaganzas for Non-Morons will only feature our best and most popular items at prices so low, our accountant will be furious with us. But she’s not around right now, so let’s get started…

How do you like your coffee? Perhaps black and strong. You know, like you like your President?

Well then, you need the Barack Obama coffee mug, available in regular and large size. You like coffee? The President likes coffee! It’s a coffee mug you can believe in.

Perhaps you are a conservative. Well, we are putting our most popular item on sale…

Oh snap, we did not! Yes, we did! It’s our Ronald Reagan Christmas ornament. We’ve had customers buy twelve of these at a time. Seriously. And now we’ve lowered the price as low as we possibly can! How many will you buy?

And for historians, we are putting our most popular design on sale…

Yes, you can show that you opposed the evil Kansas-Nebraska Act with this shirt. Keep in mind we said the design was on sale. That’s right, every item in the Kansas-Nebraska shop is on sale, and that includes aprons, coasters, mouse pads and tote bags.

Merry Christmas Whiggy Tease Nation. Start shopping, as this sale ends on Sunday.

What every Republican wants and needs for Christmas.

You probably have a few Republicans on your Christmas shopping list. What are you going to get them? No, that’s lame. Sorry.

Let us tell you what you need to get the Republicans on your Christmas list. You need to get them a Presidential Christmas Ornament from Whiggy Tease – America’s Fastest Growing Store for all things celebrating American History and Politics.

They love conservatives, and they love Christmas. So, they’ll really love one of our ornaments.
But which Republican ornament should you buy? We have all of them. Click on the name to order!

Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James Garfield, Chester A. Arthur,
Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt, Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge,
Dwight Eisenhower, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George Bush and George W. Bush.

Buy their favorite, or collect the entire set! And don't forget to buy some for yourself! After all, when was the last time you did something for YOU?

Click here for a link to the Whiggy Tease Christmas Ornament collection. You may also want to shop around our other departments. Want to see what else we've got? Visit the Whiggy Tease store by clicking here.

Merry Christmas!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

This picture really needs no caption. It certainly doesn’t even need an entire Infoblog post. But it will get one nonetheless.

Even though your pumpkin from Halloween has yet to completely rot, it is time for you to put up your Christmas tree. To be clear, it is time to put up your Christmas tree if you have received your Whiggy Tease Presidential Christmas Ornaments.

Look at this precious little girl. She loved her pumpkin. But she loves Christmas. And she loves President James K. Polk. When the two are combined, it’s even more magical. This doesn’t mean she loves her pumpkin any less. Not at all.

If you’ve ordered your Christmas ornament in the last week or so, you should be receiving your order any day now. And yes, that means the Whiggy Tease customer who ordered TWELVE Ronald Reagan ornaments – you’ll be getting your order soon.

But how about you? Have you ordered your ornaments yet? If not, get cracking. Shop now. There’s a sale going on through tomorrow. Click here to begin your shopping experience.

As for those of you who have your ornaments… what are you waiting for? Put up your Christmas tree right now.

Whiggy Tease Presidential Christmas ornaments now 25% off.

Café Press, the official Whiggy Tease subcontractor, just announced that all Christmas ornaments are now 25% off through November 6th.

Do you know what this means? It means you can now afford even more of our Presidential Christmas tree ornaments! You can put all Republicans on your tree, or all Democrats. You can have an entire tree of one-term Presidents. Or all Whigs! The possibilities are limitless.

What is stopping you from ordering right now? Click here to start shopping.

If you don’t order right now, we here at Whiggy Tease can only come up with one of two conclusions. Either you hate America, or you hate Christmas.

We’re certain neither is the case. So shop now.

Holiday Scenario #1: The Secret Santa at Work.

Many, many years ago, there was a little newspaper put out by a spunky little Downtown Business Association. To encourage downtown shopping, the newspaper ran something they called “Holiday Scenarios.” Whiggy Tease is not beyond stealing a good idea. Readers of this infoblog already know that.

Holiday Scenario #1: The Secret Santa at Work.

Doug is a government employee. His first Christmas in his new department is coming up, and he’s recently discovered that his new co-workers do a Secret Santa party every single year.

The clever type, Doug doesn’t want to buy $15 worth of lottery tickets and call it a day. Nobody really wants lottery tickets. Odds are, the recipient won’t have fun opening the present.

Whiskey is probably out of the question. And who wants a Christmas CD? There’s always a restaurant gift certificate, but if Doug buys it for a place on the West Side, and the person who gets his gift lives on the East Side, it’s not a good gift.

What gift could all of Doug’s co-workers enjoy? To answer that question, Doug has to ask and answer another question. “What do all of my co-workers have in common?”

The answer? In this crappy economy, they’re all subjected to unpaid furlough days.

The perfect Secret Santa gift for government employees is…

… the Whiggy Tease Happy #%@*! Day shirt.

Click here to read more about this popular Whiggy Tease item.

It’s also available in a lighter shade for the ladies.





Imagine the joy one of Doug’s co-workers will experience when he opens this gift. His co-workers will all but fight him or her for Doug’s gift. Or offer a bottle of whisky for it. And best of all, Doug’s boss will be sure to get a kick out of it. Doug will probably get a promotion in 2010.

Way to go, Doug. Thanks to you, and Whiggy Tease, this will be the Best Christmas Ever!

Michael McDonald does not control our sales plan.

If the smell of clove cigarettes wasn’t distinctive enough, the click-click of stiletto heels against cold marble was a dead giveaway. It was The Accountant, marching towards our office.

Click-click, past Human Resources at our Whiggy Tease World Headquarters. Click-click past the Focus Group room, and click-click past Research & Development. The clicking was getting faster, and that could only mean The Accountant was mad, as she usually is.

“You boys aren’t aware of what time it is,” she rasped. “I’ll tell you what freaking time it is.

“It’s Christmas time.”

According to The Accountant, last night on QVC, Michael McDonald was pitching his new Christmas album. “If Michael McDonald is ready for Christmas, why the hell aren’t we?”

Here’s the thing, and now we’re addressing not only our accountant but the entire Whiggy Tease Nation… we are ready.

Whiggy Tease has been planning for Christmas since June. We have our line of Christmas items all ready to go. But we’re going to roll them out on our schedule, not Michael McDonald’s schedule.

If Bob Seeger was out working on his Christmas moves, that’d be one thing. But he’s not. Trust us.

Look, our Christmas line is coming. Soon. But not until Labor Day. Stay cool, real cool, save your money and we’ll deal with a Whiggy Tease Christmas at the proper time.