Avoid “Black Friday” at the big box stores like you would avoid The Black Death of 1348. Stay at home, watch football and eat delicious turkey sandwiches.
What about Christmas shopping? You can do it all right now, on-line, at Whiggy Tease. And like those silly big boxes, we are having insane sales to lure you in. In fact, you could call this next 48 Hour Sale the Mount Rushmore of Christmas sales.
We’re honoring the four Presidents on Mount Rushmore with a big sale on their Christmas tree ornaments. We’re all but giving the ornaments away. You’d be a fool – a damn fool – not to buy these ornaments today.
There’s George Washington…
Thomas Jefferson…
Teddy Roosevelt…
and of course, Abraham Lincoln…
But wait, there’s more.
That’s right, we’re also honoring a President who SHOULD be on Mount Rushmore, but isn’t. Yet…
WHAT? What’s so great about James K. Polk? Are you mad?
Listen up. In four short years, he accomplished every goal. He seized the whole southwest from Mexico. Made sure the tariffs fell, and made the English sell the Oregon territory. He built an independent treasury! Having done all this, he sought no second term. But precious few have mourned the passing of Mr. James K. Polk, our eleventh president.
Of course, people will celebrate President Polk by purchasing his ornament and displaying it proudly on their Christmas tree. And when President Barack Obama issues a declaration mandating Polk’s inclusion on Mount Rushmore. Just you wait.
This sale must end Sunday.
